Process Choices : Different Styles of Mediation
Most people fail to realize that there are many different kinds of mediation available, and there are different mediation styles used by mediators. Before choosing a mediator, it is helpful to consider many options, including the following:
Mediators with a primarily facilitative style: Most mediators believe in a primarily facilitative style, which means that the mediator simply facilitates the mediation and is careful not to offer any opinions or assessments. The purely facilitative mediator believes that, in order to maintain neutrality and empower the couple to make their own decisions, opinions and assessments should not be offered.
Evaluative style: Some mediators believe that, in order to help move mediation along the mediator should, on occasion, provide some ideas, opinions or assessments that may make it easier for the parties to reach an agreement. Most evaluative mediators use this approach only when the mediating couple has reached an impasse.Problem solving Mediation: This mediation focuses primarily on settling the particular issues that are before the parties. In this process, the mediator primarily wishes to help the parties reach an agreement on a current issue, even if the parties are not able to obtain mechanisms for reaching future agreements.
Transformative Mediation: This form of mediation focuses less on resolving the particular issues and more on empowering the parties to make better decisions for themselves. (To review an article on Transformative Mediation by DivorceChoice.com member Dan Simon, click here. )
Team mediation: This form of mediation involves the use of two mediators to work with the divorcing couple. Usually, the team is balanced by having one mediator of each gender in order to increase the comfort level of both the husband and wife. In addition, most mediation teams consist of mediators with separate mediation backgrounds, (i.e. one attorney mediator and one psychologist mediator.) This enables the mediators to have competence in a wider variety of issues.
Is mediation right for you? Determining if you are a candidate for mediation
While the large majority of couples who mediate are successful, mediation does not work for everyone. In deciding whether to pursue mediation, you need to consider whether you are a good candidate for mediation. Before you exclude mediation as an option, make sure that you understand the many different ways in which mediation can occur.
Attorneys in mediation: Some parties avoid mediation because they believe it will require them to meet with their spouse without the aid of an attorney. This should not, by itself, form the basis for rejecting mediation. Mediation can include attorneys, and many mediators are skilled in working with the attorneys in mediation sessions.
Power imbalances: Sometimes mediation is avoided because one party perceives a power imbalance. (He or she believes the other spouse will have a greater ability to negotiate an agreement.) While this is a valid concern, many mediators are skilled in conducting the mediation in a manner that balances the power even in difficult cases.
Spousal abuse: In cases of spousal abuse, mediation must be approached with great caution. A victim of abuse should not feel compelled to sit across the table from someone who has been physically abusive to them. In fact, even though courts now require some mediation in most divorce cases, Minnesota law prohibits forcing mediation where one spouse has been abused by the other. On the other hand, there are mediators who are skilled in providing mediation even where abuse has occurred. Abuse victims should not feel discouraged in choosing mediation as an option. However, when mediation is chosen in these circumstances it is important to have a mediator who is experienced with abuse issues and is able to create a safe and comfortable environment for the mediation.
Choosing a mediator: Once you have made the decision to mediate, you need to choose a mediator. Just as in choosing an attorney or other professional to assist you, it is important to choose your mediator or mediators carefully.