I am always glad to hear that my divorce client is working with a therapist*. Divorce is one of the most traumatic events that can occur in the life of any adult and having a good therapist in one’s corner is at least as important, (and maybe more important), than having legal counsel.
In many cases, a therapist and a divorce lawyer can, in my opinion, operate as an effective “team” to help a client through this difficult journey. Yet, in reality, the therapist and divorce attorney seldom communicate with each other during the divorce. Consequently, clients do not get the consistent help and assistance that they need and, on occasion, they even receive conflicting advice.
I am convinced that, in these cases, clients would be best served if they can be assured that their attorney and their therapist are working in harmony. In this series of blogs, I will examine ways that divorce attorneys and therapists can do a better job helping their clients by teaming up or, at minimum, getting on the “same page.”
It is important to distinguish the informal type of “teaming” that is being addressed here from the more formal types of teams that are rapidly emerging in divorce cases. For example, Collaborative Team Divorce cases typically involve mental health professionals who work alongside attorneys and financial professionals to help families in divorce. To learn more about that process, go to Collaborative Team Practice.
That type of formal teaming has proven to be remarkably effective in helping families find solutions that address all their legal, parenting, financial and communication needs. However, the type of teaming or cooperative strategies addressed here are intended to address a different dynamic that involves a completely different set of interactions. Even when couples have mental health professionals working as part of the divorce team, their role is distinctively different than the role of the therapist. The therapy being provided to the couple, or the children, during the divorce operate outside the process of the divorce “negotiation”, for very good reasons. However, while full interdisciplinary teaming with the therapist is neither practical or wise, some level of communication and alignment is clearly in the client best interests. Consequently, it makes sense to explore the ways that clients can have the benefit of true alignment among their trusted professionals.
In examining this important issue, we will separate the discussion into the following areas:
For the most part, I will address these issues from the perspective of a divorce lawyer who, over the course of the past 33 years, has worked with thousands of clients and numerous of mental health professionals who work with divorcing clients. However, I invite dialogue and input from other therapists and divorce lawyers with the hope that we can add to our collective understanding and provide fresh ideas on how to help individuals facing divorce prepare for the next phase of their journey.
I hope you will join us.
* In this blog series, I will use therapist and therapy when referring to all mental health professionals who are assisting clients in regards to psychological services.